It's that time again when people start to look for that spring love just in time for Valentine's day. This list is compiled of some of the things I hear and get asked all the time as it relates to dating and being on the dating scene. Now many of you know the answers to these topics and I would love to hear your feedback and opinions on them. But let’s kick it off with #1
Does Sex On The 1st Date Matter…
Now I know there’s a toss-up with this one and among my own research that of Cosmopolitan and Essence magazines more than 60% of you all say it doesn’t if there is mutual respect deserved and given. Honestly, I tend to agree with this, not for any selfish reasons but more so it’s a mark of distinction as it relates to women and their choice to move on certain feelings that they want. They aren’t taking a back seat to a man and being hunted like prey, instead, the hunters have become the hunted.
Should your date pay for the first round or dinner?
As a gentleman, I have no problem paying for the first round or even the second but, what I will have a problem with is if you assume that every time we go out you are eating and drinking for free. It’s not me being cheap however, I was raised with the mindset that if I take you out, I can pay your way. At the same time, it’s the common respect of asking if nothing more than a “you got this?” It shows that you are at least willing to cover yourself even if I decline.
When should you send a follow-up Text/Call?
This one strictly depends on two key things… First, how is your communication with this person prior to the date (i.e. you all text all day and all night or you only hit each other up once a day)? This is essential because you don’t want to break the communication pattern that is already established. It actually can come off as weird if we talk all the time then you wait 3 days to speak to me again because we went out for dinner. Second, how did the night go… if it ended on a high note, chances are they want to talk to you just as much if not more than you are wanting to talk to them and vice versa if the date was a bust… Give it a few days.
But what happens if they don’t respond to the text?
Nothing… patience is a virtue, you give them more than enough time to respond. Ladies that doesn’t mean 45 mins, give it a day at max… according to the New York Times, the average person looks at their phone about 46 times a day. So, if they missed 46 chances to reply don’t be bothered they might be busy or they might have had a change of heart. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
On the other hand, should you have to have a What are we conversation?
Absolutely for two reasons one you don’t want to assume and two you want to make sure it’s clear that you guys are either just dating or exclusive (YES even if you’ve had sex), people will always be people, and if you respect each other in that you will be fine.
Whens a good time to ghost them?
Never! Unless you like creating psychotic stalkers, who WILL show up your front door or interrupt your next date and blow your phone up relentlessly. Look, I know we have all had that person that you have nothing for. No feelings, no interest, no butterflies, it was just a free lunch or drinks BUT, my dearest MnD Reader, I say to you simply this… Just let the person know that it’s not working out for you and do it earlier on so they aren’t too invested. It’s better that than them sitting on your doorstep when you get home at 2:am
If you’re the one being Blown off
HEY, their loss… Dive back in and find someone better, don’t take it personally, the universe might be saving you from a horrible experience. Again, thanks for the free lunch and the short-lived memories.
And Finally, Know your Deal breakers
You should know who you are and what you want when dating because, if you don’t you will end up finding out how much you are willing to be drug through before you hit your breaking point. If you don’t smoke, know that about yourself before you go to that 420 meet up and take home someone you will later resent for your clothes, car, or hair smelling like smoke. Ask yourself, what you like and don’t like? give yourself a little leniency on each end of the spectrum and see what comes of it.
At the end of It, all dating is supposed to be fun, getting to know someone different, and getting to know yourself. Be sure to comment and post your thought and opinions and as all ways
Keep it MnD
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