If you’ve been following the series, we have examined the vicious circle of good girls liking bad boys, and then the loss of the role models. To close out the series let's go into what I consider a love letter to an ideal… better the solution to a dying art.
There is so much that surrounds the idea of being a man in a culture that, to some degree, sees us (especially in the African American community) as children. It’s been ingrained into our very being so deeply that we echo it without giving any thought to it. Where are you? “I’m at the crib”, who is she? “My Lil mama" and my personal favorite – How’s your family? “My ol boy and ol girl good.” Some will recognize the slang better than others but the fact remains, the reason there was so much put into being a gentleman in the black community was because of the recognition, respect, and honor it brought. I am not your Boy; I am a Man…
As time has converted and evolved us so too must the image of the modern gentleman, but what does that look like? Let’s explore it, shall we? Start with the man himself, he must be knowledgeable, he’s going to be looked to for leadership, and he must be able to maintain his composure under pressure. Next is presence, while I appreciate a good suit and tie, clothing no longer makes the man. He can wear several different looks, as long as there is pride in his appearance. Top all of this off with a good heart; one of love and compassion, and there he stands the modern gentleman.
Note there are a few things I didn’t mention because while they are nice to have they don’t necessarily qualify. A college degree – In some cases, the university does groom certain mannerisms however, there is just as much to be learned from the School of hard knocks. Money/wealth – while the important accumulation does open many doors, money doesn’t make you a better person that has to come from within. Being well-traveled is another “honorable mention” – Experiencing various places and cultures will help in creating a well-rounded individual, not everyone can vacation and that does not take away from the ability to be a gentleman. Finally, Masculinity – in American society; the understanding is a level of dominance and physical power over other men, women, and children. Opposing models to masculinity, such as those found within the feminist and the environmental movements, challenge these ideals. That being said I didn’t want to hang that out there and create ambiguity to the core of a modern gentleman.
As I bring my love letter to this ideal to a close; allow me to be very clear when I say I am not the ideal gentleman myself, I remain a work in progress. The thing is if we all do a little in the direction of placing value in the “gents” of tomorrow. They then become the men we have been looking for. Additionally, let’s not forget to continue to work on ourselves. This isn’t, "do as I say not as I do", lead by example. Even if that’s no more than being mindful of saying please and thank you or holding a door for someone (even in Covid).
"Farewell to the Gents of old, we hold you so true. Farewell to the Gents for now, until we birth the new."
- MnD
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