When you picture a "baecation", if you’ve been on one or not, what do you see? Take a second and think of it for a minute. The beach, food, fun, sex, drinks… all of these things establish memories that are unmatched right? But how does that translate to your daily life in your relationship? Let’s look at a couple of things. On vacation, you’re at ease and ready to have a good time. The waves are crashing with the faint smell of saltwater in the air. The Sun is shining, drinks are cold, and nothing in the world is bothering you. This is paradise, and you want nothing more than to share this feeling with your love interest… or at least whoever you may be dealing with at the time.
But here the thing, too many of us are saving paradise activity for a special trip that we may or may not see but once a year. What’s wrong with this picture? Currently, if you’re in that relationship where every day feels like a vacation (for the most part) this post isn’t for you. I hope you stick around, but someone needs this one. We devote a lot of time neglecting our day-to-day for an extraordinary occasion. The modernity of school and work distract us a little too easily. I was recently confronted with a problem from a good friend that’s all too common. Her long-time (live-in) boyfriend has repeatedly complained about a lack of connection and intimacy. Things started like a fairy tail but after several years, the connection has seemed to fade. She stated to me that when they get to travel, all of this is checked at the door. "It’s a chapter of a Zane novel", from the time they land to the time they return. I inquired as to why she felt like this and she couldn’t explain it… I know it made no sense to me either.
Through a series of questions, she explained that "the sex is bomb", he has never cheated, and he makes certain she is good and happy the best he can. More confused than ever I finally had to give up and change the topic but it left me wondering how many of us are living like this regularly. I have come to understand that women are different and that it may take a special setup to get there. It can be mental, it can be setting, or it can be something as simple as a smell that gets the engine going. This happens on both sides of the fence; we all have our "things" that turn us on… I urge you humbly if this is you, be willing to pinpoint what it is inside of you that drives you. Your partner will thank you!
Here are a couple of tips
If it's settings - consider an outdoor picnic, set the mood with a blanket, a nice light wine, some snacks, and enjoy the space.
If you're into sents – aromatherapy candles; discover something that stimulates you and allows you to go on vacation mentally.
If it's Food – Cook a meal together; relax, flirt, and have fun.
I could go on, but there are two things that you need to do. First, communicate your wants and needs and act on them. Next, be real with each other about your expectations of what you want in your relationship… The GOOD BAD and the UGLY.
I focused on one area for this post but If you want me to go deeper let me know.
Until Next time,
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