Ok, it's time for another genuine conversation as it relates to maintaining things in your relationships. Starting with the understanding that this is a partnership, maturity will vary this conversation I'm sure but, while celebrity drama stands as the model of a lot of our current views on relationships, allow me to bring some of the top ones into the focus. Will and Jada Smith and their "Bad Marriage for life", to Jay-Z and Beyoncé and the lemonade to follow, are examples of high profile relationships that have been the topic of many discussions, but also shaped how some decide how to move in their own relationships.
One thing is certain if you are like me, most of you are not Beyoncé or even have the money to pretend to be (“Yet!” We are all still working toward the prize). Like many others, we instead shoot for the stars via Tik Tok, Instagram, and Snapchat. This, however, has developed something I prefer calling the Delusion of Social Media. What's that? I’m thrilled you asked, the delusion of social media, is when an individual has gotten to a point where he or she feels like because of the attention they have gotten from the thirsty people on the internet and around her immediate vicinity, they are now entitled to being handle and treated a certain way. Said person doesn’t need to achieve anything to have or keep a partner. Because they have so many likes and followers their partner must pamper them and they don't need to reciprocate anything within the confines of that relationship.
By now you’re asking where is this all coming from right? While visiting Beautiful Fort Lauderdale Beach recently, I overheard this conversation going on across from where I was sitting. A conversation that leads to the notion that men will cheat on anyone just to be cheating. “Even Cardi B got cheated on.” As I sat there trying to enjoy my drink and view of the ocean, I couldn’t help but look at these women, both very well put together. Kind of reminds you of the Real House Wives type (minus the arguing and throwing drinks). It came back to me that looks don’t keep a man (or woman) in a relationship, it is considerably deeper than that.
Needless to say, I didn’t say anything to them but, I spent the rest of the evening thinking about this condition that has become apparent in our culture. Before I go any further, I want to say that YES there are some “Aint –Ish” men and women out there, but for sake of this conversation we will not use that as an out. Men and women both must work in a relationship, and expecting certain treatment without any reciprocity is a recipe for disaster. Let’s say, Lisa, an exceedingly attractive young lady, meets Ryan, a good-looking, hardworking man. Lisa has worked very hard to obtain the body she maintains (without surgery). She is also an Instagram “Influencer”, with hundreds of thousands of likes and comments on every picture she posts. She and Ryan look amazing together but because of all the attention she's seeking and getting elsewhere, she’s not taking care of Ryan. Ryan conveys this to her and lets her know his needs and wants. She disregards this, again because of all the external attention she receives, and Ryan is left feeling on his own.
Consequently, what do you anticipate ends up happening? Ryan loves Lisa but she leaves him feeling lonely in their relationship, and at this point, a tear starts. Before long another woman had captured Ryan’s attention. Conversations ensue and before long Ryan is questioning why he is still with Lisa? He either has to walk away from her or slip up and step out. It’s not because Ryan wants to be a cheater, it’s because the person supposed to be present in his life isn’t there for him. When she is there, she’s expecting all rewards and no work. This is a fabricated scenario but, it happens like this to men and women more often than we would like to admit.
I am not condoning anyone cheating, but I am saying, you much do the work to take care of what’s yours. Look at people who are in happy committed relationships and you will recognize a pattern among these couples. They both work to keep each other satisfied and happy. We could go deeper but that’s another post.
I may be crazy, maybe not… let me know with your comments below.
As always
MnD
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